Realizing Your True Dreams // Flourish
When I was a little girl, I was taught that my dreams were my parents dreams: I was taught to dream for a nice house, a flashy car, a high paying career and good health. My parents grew up in a country where these things were not easy to come by. Coming to America was a huge deal for my parents, especially my Mom. She left her home and family behind to work and give us a better life. She had courage, she has strength, and she had a dream.
I sit here in front of my computer and realize that my Mom's dream for us is not the dream I currently live. I am 27 years old, a graduate from college 3 years ago, currently residing in an apartment with a entry salary while driving a 15 year old car. Not exactly living the American Dream.
And I get so caught up in this! Granted, I am thankful to have an income, a roof over my head, food to eat, clothes to wear, loved ones who love me for me; I am alive and I am breathing. What more can I ask for? I say this, yet I thirst for more every time.
I think our society has warped our minds, making us think that we have to have it all by (insert age here). Social media doesn't help either, as we are constantly comparing our journeys with other people's. We get stuck on, "I should be where they're at by now", instead of telling our selves how proud we are for getting this far.
I've made so many plans for myself thinking I can accomplish XYZ, yet, I don't stick the landing when I make myself leap so far. I don't give myself enough time to build up to the big moment. I run and as hard as I can, thinking that the faster I move, the more I'll accomplish. Then I fall. I get hurt from my own expectations. Then, I get up, and I do it again.
It's this cycle I've been for years. I make goals, I have dreams, I say them out loud, but I they don't always come into fruition. Aside from being a winning procrastinator, I realize I can make the plans I want, I can fail as many times while chasing my dreams, but do my plans align with God's plans?
I think I know what I want for my life, but I have failed to realize that what I want is only a scope of what God has in store for me. I just need to let him take lead and stop trying to lead my own life. Yes, I can still make decisions for me life. Yes, I can still work hard. However, God is ultimately in control, is he not? I just need to accept it and let him work.
I've practiced this recently. I had goals this year to do A LOT of things, and let me tell you: They didn't necessarily happen. It wasn't until I surrendered to God (for the 44th million time in my life) that I saw him start to open doors for me. It's as if the second I waived my white flag, God instantly took control. I have so many exciting things to share about my blog in the next few weeks. With every single opportunity, God has unfailingly showed up and reminded me that he's on this journey of realizing my true dreams for myself. I'm not along trying to make it all happen.
For example, I've struggled and fell into a depression about my blog and the thoughts of shutting down DizzySpangle.com forever entered my mind. That would mean that the dream I held onto for so long would be shattered. Finally, I was tired of being sad and I picked myself up. And instead of running as fast as I could to try and stick that landing, I leaped into the arms of the Father, tired, broken, and sick of trying to run my own life, my own dreams.
Lately, I've found peace. Granted, the dreams my Mom had for me are not happening, and the dreams I've tried to build for myself are slowly chugging along. Regardless, I know that no matter what, God has all my dreams figured out, slowly and surely helping realize my true dreams. With him guiding my life, I will only blossom and flourish.
“Now may the God of peace…equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him” (Hebrews 13:20-21).